Hello cats and kittens!
Last week I had the pleasure of being interviewed about my PhD research for a kooky little health science web show called Diagnosis Health. Check me out on YouTube!!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Let the Awesomeness Begin!
Do you know what today is cats and kittens? Today is the start of my favourite season in Melbourne: the Suzuki Night Market! This market brings together pretty much all of Melbourne's funkiest market vendors, along with really awesome food and drink* right outside my office every Wednesday evening from now until the beginning of March. This was one of the first things I discovered about Melbourne when I moved here in Feb '08. Unfortunately, I discovered it at the end of the market season and had to wait 8 months before I could really experience the full awesomeness of the Night Market. My tradition is to go every Wednesday. This usually lasts until after Christmas, when my fanatical obsession suddenly seems to die away, along with the funds in my bank account.
I'm extra excited about this year's Night Market because of all the weight I've lost this year. My shopping options should be greatly increased! Though after putting on 1kg I've said I can't buy any new clothes until I lose 2kg, and as this has not yet happened, tonight I will be looking with my eyes, not my wallet.
But given that most of my clothes are now too big for me, I am looking forward to stocking up on some funky summer threads over the coming months, and this has gotten my thinking...
Joni's Top Ten Style Tips #6: Experiment!
As the years have gone by, I've developed a certain way of dressing and quite frankly sometimes I bore myself. My funkier outfits, the ones that get me noticed, are not what I wear on a day-to-day basis, mostly because I cannot be bothered. But now that I am faced with having to slowly clear out all my old clothes and get new ones, I'm starting to give more thought to how I want to dress. Also, being on a budget means that I'm not just wandering into a store and picking up random things and seeing which ones stand the test of time anymore. Gone are the days of unjustified clothes shopping!
So knowing how I like to dress and what I've already got in my wardrobe, my mission as I seek out new additions is to try new things. I have a tendency to stick to what I know is practical instead of branching out and experimenting. I want to create a wardrobe that has a lot more versatility and creativity in it.
I also want to stop hording accessories that I never use! I went through this phase of being really into scarfs, and I amassed heaps of them. But at some point I stopped wearing them (though it took me awhile to catch up on the stop buying them front). I do like my scarfs, and many of them signal emotional connections to a certain time in my life. But I rarely wear them. Is that a side of me that I have moved on from? Or is it time for a scarf revival? This is one of the things I intent to experiment with and find out! The same applies to my collection of broaches, bangles, earrings and necklaces. So watch out for some retro revivals from the hidden depths of my accessory collections as I engage in some summer wardrobe experimentation!
*I can't personally vouch for the drink, aside from the Lemonade Stand, which was a massive let down...and what's up with the ban on photography?! What on earth makes them so special? Apparently the sangria is really great though.
I'm extra excited about this year's Night Market because of all the weight I've lost this year. My shopping options should be greatly increased! Though after putting on 1kg I've said I can't buy any new clothes until I lose 2kg, and as this has not yet happened, tonight I will be looking with my eyes, not my wallet.
But given that most of my clothes are now too big for me, I am looking forward to stocking up on some funky summer threads over the coming months, and this has gotten my thinking...
Joni's Top Ten Style Tips #6: Experiment!
As the years have gone by, I've developed a certain way of dressing and quite frankly sometimes I bore myself. My funkier outfits, the ones that get me noticed, are not what I wear on a day-to-day basis, mostly because I cannot be bothered. But now that I am faced with having to slowly clear out all my old clothes and get new ones, I'm starting to give more thought to how I want to dress. Also, being on a budget means that I'm not just wandering into a store and picking up random things and seeing which ones stand the test of time anymore. Gone are the days of unjustified clothes shopping!
So knowing how I like to dress and what I've already got in my wardrobe, my mission as I seek out new additions is to try new things. I have a tendency to stick to what I know is practical instead of branching out and experimenting. I want to create a wardrobe that has a lot more versatility and creativity in it.
I also want to stop hording accessories that I never use! I went through this phase of being really into scarfs, and I amassed heaps of them. But at some point I stopped wearing them (though it took me awhile to catch up on the stop buying them front). I do like my scarfs, and many of them signal emotional connections to a certain time in my life. But I rarely wear them. Is that a side of me that I have moved on from? Or is it time for a scarf revival? This is one of the things I intent to experiment with and find out! The same applies to my collection of broaches, bangles, earrings and necklaces. So watch out for some retro revivals from the hidden depths of my accessory collections as I engage in some summer wardrobe experimentation!
*I can't personally vouch for the drink, aside from the Lemonade Stand, which was a massive let down...and what's up with the ban on photography?! What on earth makes them so special? Apparently the sangria is really great though.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Socks Code of Conduct
OK, so I know that this is weird and pedantic and all that, BUT! I have a real issue with socks. I don't know why, but I do. And it's not just one of those crazy quirks that I can apply to myself and not judge others by the same standards. Oooh no! I judge people by their socks. I know it's stupid, but when someone tells me they willfully break my sock rules, I reassess why this person is in my life.
I'm writing about this today because I have quite accidentally broken one of my sock rules, and I didn't realize it until it was much too late! I did not mean to leave the house in the socks I am wearing, and now that I have realized this, I will be self conscious for the rest of the day.
So what, exactly, are my sock hang-ups? Well!
My breech of conduct today has to do with Rule #2. You see, it's been getting chilly at night and my body has a tendancy to stop supplying my toes with any blood when I'm cold, resulting in my having blue toes during winter. I have realized that this can be prevented if I wear socks to bed (I used to have a rule expressly forbidding this, but needs must I dropped it). Normally I sleep in really thick wool socks that I would not be able to wear a shoe over, and hence, never leave the house in my bedtime socks. But lately I've been using a pair of just regular wool socks, which I do wear in my shoes during winter. And this morning, I forgot to change my socks. Now my feet are overly warm and I feel like an embarassment to society.
In un-sock related news... I've got my new computer. It probably would be quite exciting, except I reached my download limit on my internet at the same time, so I haven't actually been able to properly set up my new computer. Also, I didn't want to have to buy a new computer, so I wasn't super thrilled about it anyways. It's a netbook, which is another reason I'm not super thrilled. But, it is super light and tiny, and so it will be handy for working on the go. I'm sure I'll come around to it in time.
I'm writing about this today because I have quite accidentally broken one of my sock rules, and I didn't realize it until it was much too late! I did not mean to leave the house in the socks I am wearing, and now that I have realized this, I will be self conscious for the rest of the day.
So what, exactly, are my sock hang-ups? Well!
- Mismatching socks - I get distressed if I'm wearing two mismatched black socks, I cannot imagine how someone could go through life wearing completely different coloured socks.
- Dirty socks - Some things can be worn more than once before they need a wash, but not socks. I would rather go without socks than have to re-wear a dirty pair. Though in a similar pinch, I will re-wear dirty underwear.
- Toe socks - This is just a whole world of wrong and I don't know how to deal with people who wear these. Also, toe rings. There is never an acceptable time to wear toe rings.
My breech of conduct today has to do with Rule #2. You see, it's been getting chilly at night and my body has a tendancy to stop supplying my toes with any blood when I'm cold, resulting in my having blue toes during winter. I have realized that this can be prevented if I wear socks to bed (I used to have a rule expressly forbidding this, but needs must I dropped it). Normally I sleep in really thick wool socks that I would not be able to wear a shoe over, and hence, never leave the house in my bedtime socks. But lately I've been using a pair of just regular wool socks, which I do wear in my shoes during winter. And this morning, I forgot to change my socks. Now my feet are overly warm and I feel like an embarassment to society.
In un-sock related news... I've got my new computer. It probably would be quite exciting, except I reached my download limit on my internet at the same time, so I haven't actually been able to properly set up my new computer. Also, I didn't want to have to buy a new computer, so I wasn't super thrilled about it anyways. It's a netbook, which is another reason I'm not super thrilled. But, it is super light and tiny, and so it will be handy for working on the go. I'm sure I'll come around to it in time.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Little Fishies
It's been awhile since I updated my blog, which isn't intentional. I've just been busy and my internet at home is slow and painful to use. I'm not sure if the problem is my internet connection, my apartment building, or my computer. I'm hoping it's my computer because a shiny new one is on it's way into my life. I'm so excited about being able to see my computer screen again! I've completely forgotten what that's like.
The past few weeks have been muffin, cake, chips and ice cream heavy, and I have felt the effects of this. My slow but steady weight loss did a 180 and the numbers on the scale went up instead of down. While I would like to live a life where going up 1kg is not a big deal, I am still a long ways from my goal weight and going up 1kg is a sign that I've gone off track.
So it's been out with the junk food and into the pool for me. No more of this "oh, it's raining, I don't wanna go to yoga" business either! Discipline is an admirable thing to have in ones life and I must return to my idol, Lady Gaga, for inspiration in getting back on track. (Also, Janelle Monae, why on earth has my brother not told me about her?!) Lady Cop and I have entered into a gentle woman's accord to achieve our various fitness goals, and I have every intention of schooling her ass.
My aim is to lose 18kg in 7 months. This year I have lost at least 10kg, and that was only by moderately increasing my exercise. I have been making subtle changes to my diet more recently, and now I will need to be much more disciplined about what I eat. Also, I need to up my time at the pool from 3-4 times a week to 4-5 times a week. And I need to push myself harder at the pool.
At the moment, I swim 50 laps or 1.5km and I can do this in 42-43 minutes. Currently, I am trying to get my time down to 40 minutes. This is proving to be more challenging than I initially anticipated. It is requiring me to really build up my muscles. Which brings me to my diet...
After 6.5 years of dedicated vegetarianism, I have decided to start eating fish. I know, I know! It is shocking. I've only told a couple people at my office about this, as vegetarianism is pretty much the norm here. Today at lunch when I 'came out', one colleague said "...are you still queer?" (Yes, obviously! I haven't gone completely mad!)
I didn't eat fish before becoming a vegetarian, so this is no small decision. I was not getting enough protein to build up and maintain my muscles so a change of diet was required. Ultimately, my decision to turn to vegetarianism was for health reasons, and taking stock of my current situation, eating fish was the healithiest option to increasing my protein and maintaining a balanced diet. I felt sad and kinda sick the first time I ate it, but, then I had to admit to myself that it was really quite tasty.
Actually, if I can be really naughty, I'm even more excited about Christmas in Hawaii now. All those trips to the Indian Ocean when I said no the what looked like the most amazingly delicious fish dishes... Like hell I'm gonna sit on an island in the middle of the Pacific and turn down some Humuhumunukunukuapuaa now!
The past few weeks have been muffin, cake, chips and ice cream heavy, and I have felt the effects of this. My slow but steady weight loss did a 180 and the numbers on the scale went up instead of down. While I would like to live a life where going up 1kg is not a big deal, I am still a long ways from my goal weight and going up 1kg is a sign that I've gone off track.
So it's been out with the junk food and into the pool for me. No more of this "oh, it's raining, I don't wanna go to yoga" business either! Discipline is an admirable thing to have in ones life and I must return to my idol, Lady Gaga, for inspiration in getting back on track. (Also, Janelle Monae, why on earth has my brother not told me about her?!) Lady Cop and I have entered into a gentle woman's accord to achieve our various fitness goals, and I have every intention of schooling her ass.
My aim is to lose 18kg in 7 months. This year I have lost at least 10kg, and that was only by moderately increasing my exercise. I have been making subtle changes to my diet more recently, and now I will need to be much more disciplined about what I eat. Also, I need to up my time at the pool from 3-4 times a week to 4-5 times a week. And I need to push myself harder at the pool.
At the moment, I swim 50 laps or 1.5km and I can do this in 42-43 minutes. Currently, I am trying to get my time down to 40 minutes. This is proving to be more challenging than I initially anticipated. It is requiring me to really build up my muscles. Which brings me to my diet...
After 6.5 years of dedicated vegetarianism, I have decided to start eating fish. I know, I know! It is shocking. I've only told a couple people at my office about this, as vegetarianism is pretty much the norm here. Today at lunch when I 'came out', one colleague said "...are you still queer?" (Yes, obviously! I haven't gone completely mad!)
I didn't eat fish before becoming a vegetarian, so this is no small decision. I was not getting enough protein to build up and maintain my muscles so a change of diet was required. Ultimately, my decision to turn to vegetarianism was for health reasons, and taking stock of my current situation, eating fish was the healithiest option to increasing my protein and maintaining a balanced diet. I felt sad and kinda sick the first time I ate it, but, then I had to admit to myself that it was really quite tasty.
Actually, if I can be really naughty, I'm even more excited about Christmas in Hawaii now. All those trips to the Indian Ocean when I said no the what looked like the most amazingly delicious fish dishes... Like hell I'm gonna sit on an island in the middle of the Pacific and turn down some Humuhumunukunukuapuaa now!
Monday, November 1, 2010
Tales of an Evolving City
A couple of posts ago I mentioned that I was going to check out a session at the Australian Travel Writers Festival. That session was on Saturday. I almost didn't go to it. The forecast called for a torrential downpour and I was not relishing the idea of going all the way into the city just for an hour talk, especially after a night of drinking and not a lot of sleeping. But I got myself some coffee and threw on some clothes and made plans to meet up with my flatmate for lunch after the session, and that took the sting off making the trip into the city.
I'm really glad I did end up going! It was quite an interesting talk that got my slightly beer soaked brain juices flowing. The session was on the psychogeography of Melbourne and about if cities have personalities. Melbourne's got personality coming out the wazoo, so I expected the talk to be more focused on how Melbourne's rather distinctive personality came into being. Instead, the talk was more about how we develop a sense of place and come to see space as holding parts of our personal history.
I found this particular personal interest and relevance because since moving to Melbourne, I have been very aware of how my sense of the space of the city has evolved and changed as my sense of place in the city has become more established.
Having done a fair bit of travelling before I moved here, I was well aware of the fact that when I initially arrive in a city everything looks shiny and exciting, but as I spend more time in that city, my perceptions of the city change. When I lived in Amsterdam, I had quite a hard time adjusting to the city and never was able to feel at home there. As I was moving to Melbourne for a much longer period of time, I was determined not to make the same mistakes I made with Amsterdam. I had very few expectations of Melbourne before I arrived. I'd heard that the shopping and food were good, and was pleased by this, but that was all. When I arrived here, I paid attention to how I felt about the city: what I noticed, what interested me, what I liked, what I didn't like. Doing that has allowed me to watch my feelings about Melbourne grow and change as I've become more integrated into the city.
Before I arrived in Melbourne, I spent a lot of time looking at maps of the CBD (downtown) so that when I did get here I was able to make my way around the city with relative ease. I didn't feel anxious about getting lost because I had memorised the map. I find it very freeing to know where I am in a city, so having this map in my head really put me at ease. Now that I've got an iPhone, being able to look up an address or my own location at a moment's notice has been invaluable in developing my sense of place in Melbourne.
The first year I was here, when I would drive with someone somewhere, I often felt anxious because I didn't know the roads. I didn't know what we would encounter from point A to B, even if I was familiar with points A and B, because I get around by walking and public transport. I have now come to know the city well enough that I can almost always locate myself on my inner map of Melbourne. And the more I am able to do that, the more at peace I feel.
My perception of Melbourne has shifted and changed in the nearly 3 years I've lived here. Aside from just knowing the city better, I have developed much more of a history with it. Now when I walk, drive, tram, or train my way through the city, I can point out places of personal relevance to me. Places I've lived, share houses I've looked at, restaurants and cafes I've been, adventures I've had. These days I often unexpectedly run into people I know when I'm wandering around the city, which I love!
After the session had finished, I made my way down Swanston St to meet up with my flatmate for lunch. Walking down Swanston St was a perfect example of how my perception of Melbourne has shifted since I moved here. When I first arrived in Melbourne, I spent most of my time wandering around on Swanston St. It's a pedestrian busy street that runs north from Flinders St station,which is itself a very busy hub. The street is lined with touristy shops and cheap clothing stores, along with historical buildings, shopping malls, and tram lines. It felt safe to wander around the CBD from Swanston St, as I was surrounded by other newcomers to the city. I made many trips to Target and the QV in those first few months here and came to feel quite at home on Swanston St.
As I settled into uni and moved from a hotel in Preston to a house in Flemington, the central street in my CBD experience shifted from Swanston St to Elizabeth St. I stopped going to Target and QV and started going to Melbourne Central. I even switched to a different bank. Gradually, I lost familiarity with Swanston St. It became touristy, brash, disorienting, a place best avoided. Then, slowly, as my friendship circle expanded, Swanston St became a meeting ground, a place to grab a coffee or a beer or lunch, a place to catch a tram, a place with a bank of ATMs for my bank, a place with specific shops like Virgin, the start of China Town. It became infused with memories, some important, others trivial. It holds a part of my history with this city and as we both continue to exist in this space, that history will grow and become more multifaceted.
Think about the city you live in and how the streets have changed for you over time. What memories do they hold? You might be surprised to realise a seemingly mundane place can be infested with important moments of life history.
I'm really glad I did end up going! It was quite an interesting talk that got my slightly beer soaked brain juices flowing. The session was on the psychogeography of Melbourne and about if cities have personalities. Melbourne's got personality coming out the wazoo, so I expected the talk to be more focused on how Melbourne's rather distinctive personality came into being. Instead, the talk was more about how we develop a sense of place and come to see space as holding parts of our personal history.
I found this particular personal interest and relevance because since moving to Melbourne, I have been very aware of how my sense of the space of the city has evolved and changed as my sense of place in the city has become more established.
Having done a fair bit of travelling before I moved here, I was well aware of the fact that when I initially arrive in a city everything looks shiny and exciting, but as I spend more time in that city, my perceptions of the city change. When I lived in Amsterdam, I had quite a hard time adjusting to the city and never was able to feel at home there. As I was moving to Melbourne for a much longer period of time, I was determined not to make the same mistakes I made with Amsterdam. I had very few expectations of Melbourne before I arrived. I'd heard that the shopping and food were good, and was pleased by this, but that was all. When I arrived here, I paid attention to how I felt about the city: what I noticed, what interested me, what I liked, what I didn't like. Doing that has allowed me to watch my feelings about Melbourne grow and change as I've become more integrated into the city.
Before I arrived in Melbourne, I spent a lot of time looking at maps of the CBD (downtown) so that when I did get here I was able to make my way around the city with relative ease. I didn't feel anxious about getting lost because I had memorised the map. I find it very freeing to know where I am in a city, so having this map in my head really put me at ease. Now that I've got an iPhone, being able to look up an address or my own location at a moment's notice has been invaluable in developing my sense of place in Melbourne.
The first year I was here, when I would drive with someone somewhere, I often felt anxious because I didn't know the roads. I didn't know what we would encounter from point A to B, even if I was familiar with points A and B, because I get around by walking and public transport. I have now come to know the city well enough that I can almost always locate myself on my inner map of Melbourne. And the more I am able to do that, the more at peace I feel.
My perception of Melbourne has shifted and changed in the nearly 3 years I've lived here. Aside from just knowing the city better, I have developed much more of a history with it. Now when I walk, drive, tram, or train my way through the city, I can point out places of personal relevance to me. Places I've lived, share houses I've looked at, restaurants and cafes I've been, adventures I've had. These days I often unexpectedly run into people I know when I'm wandering around the city, which I love!
After the session had finished, I made my way down Swanston St to meet up with my flatmate for lunch. Walking down Swanston St was a perfect example of how my perception of Melbourne has shifted since I moved here. When I first arrived in Melbourne, I spent most of my time wandering around on Swanston St. It's a pedestrian busy street that runs north from Flinders St station,which is itself a very busy hub. The street is lined with touristy shops and cheap clothing stores, along with historical buildings, shopping malls, and tram lines. It felt safe to wander around the CBD from Swanston St, as I was surrounded by other newcomers to the city. I made many trips to Target and the QV in those first few months here and came to feel quite at home on Swanston St.
As I settled into uni and moved from a hotel in Preston to a house in Flemington, the central street in my CBD experience shifted from Swanston St to Elizabeth St. I stopped going to Target and QV and started going to Melbourne Central. I even switched to a different bank. Gradually, I lost familiarity with Swanston St. It became touristy, brash, disorienting, a place best avoided. Then, slowly, as my friendship circle expanded, Swanston St became a meeting ground, a place to grab a coffee or a beer or lunch, a place to catch a tram, a place with a bank of ATMs for my bank, a place with specific shops like Virgin, the start of China Town. It became infused with memories, some important, others trivial. It holds a part of my history with this city and as we both continue to exist in this space, that history will grow and become more multifaceted.
Think about the city you live in and how the streets have changed for you over time. What memories do they hold? You might be surprised to realise a seemingly mundane place can be infested with important moments of life history.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Phobia
Phobias. Everyone's got 'em. An irrational fear of something. And today I came face to face with mine.
So what is it that turns your normally brave and adventurous narrator into a quivering pile of girly screaming jelly?
Death? No, I like being alive but I'm not afraid to die.
Public speaking? Makes me nervous, but that is all.
Spiders? Nah, we're cool. I've killed red backs and white tails without so much as a squeal (though disposing of the bodies is another story altogether...)
Heights? Nope, I'm not the person with the white knuckles gripping the rail.
Balloons? No, I'm quite fond of balloons.
Clowns? I never read that particular Stephen King book...
Bees. Bees scare the fuck outta me. Bees and wasps.
I don't know why these little honey makers fill me with sheer panicky terror. I'm not allergic to them (and if I was, it wouldn't be a phobia, it'd just be sensible). I've been stung enough to know its not the end of the world. Nevertheless, I am absolutely terrified of these little creatures. Over the years I've gotten a bit better with bees. I know they won't sting me unless provoked, so I can generally control myself enough to not shriek and duck for cover and wet myself. Wasps...I generally freeze, turn white, and start dripping big beads of sweat until they fly off or whoever is around me goes "Oh for fuck sake!" and gets rid of them for me.
I haven't had any close encounters with bees or wasps in quite some time. Long enough that I was starting to wonder if maybe my phobia of them is more habitual than genuine. Oh no, it's genuine!
I was walking home from the grocery store this afternoon, listening to my ipod, lost in my thoughts, when I something on my shirt caught my eye. Closer inspection revealed that A BEE was sitting on my boob! It looked happy enough, sitting there, having a rest, enjoying the breeze blowing over it's horrible furry body. Meanwhile, I was coming to terms with the fact that my worst fear was sitting on my boob and I was gonna have to deal with it on my own.
My first instinct, I shit you not, was to just get the fuck outta my shirt and run like hell. Not run like hell because I would then be standing on my street in the middle of the afternoon in my bra, but run like hell to get away from the shirt, which I would never, ever, ever come back for. But I had my headphones in and if I pulled my shirt off, it would've got stuck in them. So, with my shirt halfway off my back, I changed strategies.
I tried to shake it off my shirt, praying that this wouldn't result in it flying up into my face as then I would have burst into tears and started pleading with God to spare my life (again, not allergic to bees). The bee, for it's part, sought out less shaky ground and started crawling it's way up my shirt, towards my face. Again, my shirt almost came off, and I started pleading, out loud, with the bee to please, please just get off of me.
The thoughts rushed through my head: "Why did this have to happen to me when I'm all by myself? Lady Cop is meant to be protecting me from this very fate! Damn her for not being here! Look, it wouldn't be the end of the world to just leave the shirt and the groceries and whatever else behind to get away from this bee. Who cares who sees me?"
I had about 5 seconds to get the bee off my shirt before I said "fuck it" and got the shirt off of me. I grabbed a stick off the ground and bent down so I was close to the ground, gave the bee a flick, and resumed breathing. It was off. And with any luck, it was too confused about what had just happened to be angry with me. I grabbed my groceries and headed home, shaking like a leaf and hyperventilating. Seriously, I didn't shake that much when I got mugged.
Do I feel braver for having successfully confronted my biggest fear? HELL NO! It was AWFUL and I can assure you I will be just as big of a panic stricken baby if it ever happens again. All I can say is thank goodness I live in Australia where any passers by would likely assume I had a rather deadly spider on my shirt and that my reaction was quite sensible.
So what is it that turns your normally brave and adventurous narrator into a quivering pile of girly screaming jelly?
Death? No, I like being alive but I'm not afraid to die.
Public speaking? Makes me nervous, but that is all.
Spiders? Nah, we're cool. I've killed red backs and white tails without so much as a squeal (though disposing of the bodies is another story altogether...)
Heights? Nope, I'm not the person with the white knuckles gripping the rail.
Balloons? No, I'm quite fond of balloons.
Clowns? I never read that particular Stephen King book...
Bees. Bees scare the fuck outta me. Bees and wasps.
I don't know why these little honey makers fill me with sheer panicky terror. I'm not allergic to them (and if I was, it wouldn't be a phobia, it'd just be sensible). I've been stung enough to know its not the end of the world. Nevertheless, I am absolutely terrified of these little creatures. Over the years I've gotten a bit better with bees. I know they won't sting me unless provoked, so I can generally control myself enough to not shriek and duck for cover and wet myself. Wasps...I generally freeze, turn white, and start dripping big beads of sweat until they fly off or whoever is around me goes "Oh for fuck sake!" and gets rid of them for me.
I haven't had any close encounters with bees or wasps in quite some time. Long enough that I was starting to wonder if maybe my phobia of them is more habitual than genuine. Oh no, it's genuine!
I was walking home from the grocery store this afternoon, listening to my ipod, lost in my thoughts, when I something on my shirt caught my eye. Closer inspection revealed that A BEE was sitting on my boob! It looked happy enough, sitting there, having a rest, enjoying the breeze blowing over it's horrible furry body. Meanwhile, I was coming to terms with the fact that my worst fear was sitting on my boob and I was gonna have to deal with it on my own.
My first instinct, I shit you not, was to just get the fuck outta my shirt and run like hell. Not run like hell because I would then be standing on my street in the middle of the afternoon in my bra, but run like hell to get away from the shirt, which I would never, ever, ever come back for. But I had my headphones in and if I pulled my shirt off, it would've got stuck in them. So, with my shirt halfway off my back, I changed strategies.
I tried to shake it off my shirt, praying that this wouldn't result in it flying up into my face as then I would have burst into tears and started pleading with God to spare my life (again, not allergic to bees). The bee, for it's part, sought out less shaky ground and started crawling it's way up my shirt, towards my face. Again, my shirt almost came off, and I started pleading, out loud, with the bee to please, please just get off of me.
The thoughts rushed through my head: "Why did this have to happen to me when I'm all by myself? Lady Cop is meant to be protecting me from this very fate! Damn her for not being here! Look, it wouldn't be the end of the world to just leave the shirt and the groceries and whatever else behind to get away from this bee. Who cares who sees me?"
I had about 5 seconds to get the bee off my shirt before I said "fuck it" and got the shirt off of me. I grabbed a stick off the ground and bent down so I was close to the ground, gave the bee a flick, and resumed breathing. It was off. And with any luck, it was too confused about what had just happened to be angry with me. I grabbed my groceries and headed home, shaking like a leaf and hyperventilating. Seriously, I didn't shake that much when I got mugged.
Do I feel braver for having successfully confronted my biggest fear? HELL NO! It was AWFUL and I can assure you I will be just as big of a panic stricken baby if it ever happens again. All I can say is thank goodness I live in Australia where any passers by would likely assume I had a rather deadly spider on my shirt and that my reaction was quite sensible.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Chocolate Blueberry Pistachio Muffins
As you probably know by now, I am world renowned for my muffin baking skillz. Over the past couple of years I have been expertly honing my skills and becoming more and more adventurous in my flavour combinations. I have taken to keeping muffins in my freezer so I have something to snack on and it was time to restock. Also, I had promised to make Lady Cop some muffins, either for her birthday or a incredibly awesome date we have planned. On top of that, we're having a bring a plate lunch at uni to celebrate the end of office construction.
I had asked Lady Cop about her muffin preference, to which she said 'chocolate', and after I refused to make straight up chocolate muffins, she conceded that blueberry would also be acceptable. I'm not the biggest fan of blueberry muffins, and the combination of blueberry and chocolate just wasn't doing it for me. I mulled over it for a couple days, and on a trip to the Queen Vic Market the answer came to me: pistachios! I ran the idea past a couple women at my campus, who both thought it sounded divine, that I was crazy for poo pooing chocolate and blueberries, and that a yogurt based batter would really even out the flavours. And so a new flavour concoction was born!
Yesterday I set to work making what turned out to be some especially lovely muffins! And since I know you're all just itching to know my secrets, I'm gonna share the recipe with you!!! Please note, I tend to eyeball things and I can't promise you will have the same result as me. Also, I am aware I am listing things half in metric and half in US measurements.
Chocolate Blueberry Pistachio Muffins
Ingredients
250g flour
150g brown sugar
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 tbsp cinnamon
75g pistachios, chopped
1 egg, beaten
50g butter, melted
250g yogurt
Instructions
Preheat oven to 200 C, I pop the butter in while the oven is warming up to melt it.
In a large bowl, mix together the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and pistachios.
In a separate bowl, mix together the egg, butter, yogurt, and milk.
Then pour the yogurt mixture over the dry ingredients, and add the blueberries and chocolate at the same time. Stir together only mixing until just combined.
The batter turns this horrible grayish purple colour, but it's OK! They won't stay that colour once they're baked.
Spoon into muffin cases (I'm not sure how many muffins you'll end up with, if you make smaller ones, you could probably get 2 dozen) filing each case about 2/3 full. I like to line the casings with melted butter and a dusting of flour to prevent the muffins from sticking. I think those paper liners are stupid and encourage you not to use them.
Bake at 200 C for 20-30 minutes or until firm and springy to the touch. I found they needed about 30 minutes, but that could just be my oven. Also, I'm not used to cooking with yogurt and the first batch I made, which I baked for 25 minutes, are on the soggy side. You don't want to burn the muffins, but a golden top is fine.
See? Look at that colour transformation! They don't stay green either.
When finished baking, cool in the cases or on a wire rack (or, as I do, on a plate).
Ta Da! I found these muffins to have a lovely subtlety of flavour to them. I should note that I used less chocolate and pistachio than in the list of ingredients I've listed. I listed higher amounts because I was just guessing at how much I'd need when I made these muffins, and I think the subtlety will still be there with just a bit more chocolate and pistachio to spread around.
Feel free to give this recipe a go, and make whatever changes to it you'd like. I am a huge fan of experimenting in the kitchen, so go nuts!!!
I had asked Lady Cop about her muffin preference, to which she said 'chocolate', and after I refused to make straight up chocolate muffins, she conceded that blueberry would also be acceptable. I'm not the biggest fan of blueberry muffins, and the combination of blueberry and chocolate just wasn't doing it for me. I mulled over it for a couple days, and on a trip to the Queen Vic Market the answer came to me: pistachios! I ran the idea past a couple women at my campus, who both thought it sounded divine, that I was crazy for poo pooing chocolate and blueberries, and that a yogurt based batter would really even out the flavours. And so a new flavour concoction was born!
Yesterday I set to work making what turned out to be some especially lovely muffins! And since I know you're all just itching to know my secrets, I'm gonna share the recipe with you!!! Please note, I tend to eyeball things and I can't promise you will have the same result as me. Also, I am aware I am listing things half in metric and half in US measurements.
Chocolate Blueberry Pistachio Muffins
Ingredients
250g flour
150g brown sugar
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 tbsp cinnamon
75g pistachios, chopped
1 egg, beaten
50g butter, melted
250g yogurt
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup milk
250g blueberries (I used frozen)
100g dark chocolate, chopped
Instructions
Preheat oven to 200 C, I pop the butter in while the oven is warming up to melt it.
In a large bowl, mix together the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and pistachios.
In a separate bowl, mix together the egg, butter, yogurt, and milk.
Then pour the yogurt mixture over the dry ingredients, and add the blueberries and chocolate at the same time. Stir together only mixing until just combined.
The batter turns this horrible grayish purple colour, but it's OK! They won't stay that colour once they're baked.
Spoon into muffin cases (I'm not sure how many muffins you'll end up with, if you make smaller ones, you could probably get 2 dozen) filing each case about 2/3 full. I like to line the casings with melted butter and a dusting of flour to prevent the muffins from sticking. I think those paper liners are stupid and encourage you not to use them.
Bake at 200 C for 20-30 minutes or until firm and springy to the touch. I found they needed about 30 minutes, but that could just be my oven. Also, I'm not used to cooking with yogurt and the first batch I made, which I baked for 25 minutes, are on the soggy side. You don't want to burn the muffins, but a golden top is fine.
See? Look at that colour transformation! They don't stay green either.
When finished baking, cool in the cases or on a wire rack (or, as I do, on a plate).
Ta Da! I found these muffins to have a lovely subtlety of flavour to them. I should note that I used less chocolate and pistachio than in the list of ingredients I've listed. I listed higher amounts because I was just guessing at how much I'd need when I made these muffins, and I think the subtlety will still be there with just a bit more chocolate and pistachio to spread around.
Feel free to give this recipe a go, and make whatever changes to it you'd like. I am a huge fan of experimenting in the kitchen, so go nuts!!!
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