Leveled Up

I wonder what I would have said at Thanksgiving last year if someone had told me that in a year I'd compete in a 10k race... It wouldn't have seemed impossible, but the prospect certainly would have been overwhelming! If you told me right now that next year I'd compete in a half-marathon I'd be surprised, but not shocked...a full marathon would shock me (and no, I don't think so)!

So many people have said to me that 10k is a really fun distance to run, and before this morning, I thought they were all crazy. But guess what?! It is!! For all the training I've done for this event, the most I ever ran was 6k. And it was tough! I find now that I can get through 5k pretty easily; I struggle at the 3k mark for a bit, but once I push through that it's smooth sailing. Because, you know, I get to stop running in another 2k!

I was really not sure how I'd go with the 10k race. A colleague's well intended caution about how she'd injured her knee doing a 10k, tight calf, thigh and muscles, and a forecast for rain were not helping me think positively! Nor was the discovery that I'd have to take a taxi to the event, as the trams and trains wouldn't be running early enough to get me there.

The race started at 7:30am, I booked a taxi for 6:40, and set my alarm for 6:00. And woke up at 5am, to discover it was pouring rain. The day before I had decided I'd forgo my morning coffee, as I normally wait until after my morning run to have one. But, given that it was 5am and I was up and feeling pretty shitty about it all, I figured why not? I'm very glad I had that coffee! As soon as I did, my mood changed and, though unrelated, the rain let up. Now I was excited to get out there and run!! I'd also decided that I'd have a couple teaspoons of peanut butter for 'breakfast', even though I don't normally eat anything before a run. This was a mistake. Not too bad of one, but come the 3k mark I had regrets!

My office hubby lives around the corner from the MCG (where the race started and finished), and he was running in the half marathon. We had decided to meet up after the race, and I'd left a change of clothes with him so that afterwards I could just go back to his place, have a shower, change, and then we could get food. I'd packed this bag expecting the weather to be pretty decent, so I figured I'd better bring something warm with me to the race and leave it at the clothing drop. In retrospect, it would have been a better idea to have left my change of clothes at the clothing drop, but you live and learn!!

The taxi trip didn't take long, so I got to the MCG nice and early, leaving me plenty of time to drop off my jumper, pee, stretch, and find the start line. And you know what happened? Just before the 10k kicked off, the sun came out!!

Yup, I was all smiles as we lined up to start the race! When I did the 5k, I started out fast and was really flagging by the end, so I was determined to start out slow this time. And man, was it hard!! Everyone seemed to be passing me, and my body was aching to get some speed going. I wanted to take the first kilometer pretty slow, and I did manage to keep the first 500m to a nice, slow, 'warm up' pace. Then I slowly started increasing my speed and finding a good pace.

I had the foresight to make a specific playlist for this run (and to bring both my ipod and iphone, just in case) of songs that would pump me up to run to. I put the list on shuffle, and somehow, it played just what I needed when I needed it! Around the 4k mark Beyonce's 'Run The World'. I cranked up the volume as high as I could stand and FLEW!!! In the 4 minutes of that song, I ran at least 1000m and probably closer to 1500m. It was fucking AWESOME!!!!! No, like, there's awesome, and then there's what I did between the the 4 and 6k marks. It's a whole other level!

Of course, once that song ended, you could barely call what I was doing running. So much so that I quickly gave up the ghost and just walked for a bit. But then Kanye West's 'Power' came on, and it just would have been disrespectful not to run to that song!! Even if it was still a slow run.

I was a bit weary of having a drink while I was running as I didn't want to get a cramp, but when the second drink station came up after I'd done that insane sprint, I just couldn't turn down a drink of 'green'! I really only had a few little sips of it before tossing it aside, but it was enough to give me a much needed energy boost, without any cramps.

Then the second best thing happened: Pink's 'Raise Your Glass' came on, and I cranked up the volume again and started to speed up. And as I'm running along and she's telling everyone to raise a glass to me, I look around me, and I'm running through the third drink station...where everyone's got a glass raised to me!!! That put a massive smile on my face. :D

Shortly after that though, I was feeling it and had to slow down to a walk again for a bit. There's this big bridge that goes over Birrarung Marr and into the MCG, and I allowed myself to walk until I got to the bridge. The plan was to start running when I got to the bridge - which meant running up a fairly decent incline - and just keep going until the finish line. I got up the incline, but then what I was doing wasn't running, so I decided to let myself walk over and down the bridge and THEN run the final 1500m stretch. As I came to the end of the bridge, I was sort of looking down, trying to pump up the volume on my phone so I could just push myself for that last bit, and when I looked up, I had a massive dizzy spell and nearly fell over. So I knew what that meant: NO MORE WALKING!! My body had been pushed to it's limit, and the only way I was going to finish was to keep pushing, and pushing hard!

As I said, my playlist really came through for me over and over again; this time with a couple songs from Kanye West and Jay-Z's collaborative album 'Watch the Throne'. The last stretch of the run was this really annoying loop. We ran down this path, then turned around and ran back, did a circle, and then came to the finish line after a sudden corner turn. It wasn't the best organised event I've been to. As I started the loop, I was really confused about if the race ended at the end, or if it ended somewhere else. I wasn't sure if I should be going balls out or reserving that last push for a bit longer. But System of a Down's 'Bounce' helped give me some last minute energy to finish off the annoying loopy part of the track.

When I got to the circle part - the part I now know is where I should have been going balls out - guess what song came on? Jay-Z's 'Blue Magic'! I couldn't think of a more perfect song to cross the finish line to. But like I said, I was really confused about where the finish line actually was. I was looking for a big FINISH sign like they had at Run Melbourne, so it almost dawned on me that I was in the home stretch too late. I wondered why all these spectators were staring all expectantly at me!! Once I did figure it out, I put the pedal to the medal and sprinted to the finish, with the crowd giving me a big cheer along.

I do have to say, the way the finish area of the race was set up was enough to make me not want to run in the Melbourne Marathon events again. After I passed the finish line I wanted to ease down into a walk, but had to really abruptly stop so as not to run into a heap of people who were just standing around trying to sort themselves out. And instead of having heaps of people handing out water bottles and energy drinks, I had to queue for a little cup of some watery 'yellow' and a couple orange slices. AND I didn't get any swag!! They did have a couple nice things going for them though: a volunteer actually put my medal around my neck and congratulated me (and commented on how I was still smiling after running 10k), and they had professional photographers taking your picture if you wanted it. Obviously you're meant to pay for this picture if you want copies, but I intend to do no such thing!! I can take my own picture, after all! ;)

Once I'd stretched out, used the toilet, and picked up my jumper I headed over to hubby's place where his wife did a wonderful job playing host, even though he hadn't slept yet on account of an after party for a play he'd been in that closed the night before. He also informed me that my clothes were not at their apartment, but I've been lent a very comfy jumper. And given that they let me use their shower and fed me, I'm not about to complain!! Hubby and his bestie made it home about an hour later - and can I just say, what an amazing effort from them both!! They did an amazing job running the half marathon and should be damn proud of themselves!

The rest of the morning/afternoon was spent with the 3 of us curled up on the couch, having a total junk food binge, while watching Hedwig and the Angry Inch. I don't think I have ate anything of any sort of nutritional value today. Ha! And when I left hubby's, I stopped at 7/11 and bought an ice cream!! And now I'm gonna go get a pizza for dinner. Hahahaha! Whatever, no guilt! I ran at least 9 of those 10k!!!

It feels really good to have done that race. I'm so glad that hubby peer pressured me into signing up!! I don't know when my next race will be, but I think I'll be taking a bit of a break. Summer is coming up, and I really want to start riding my bike!! Also, in a possible bout of insanity, I've just agreed to join the ARCSHS netball team. What is netball? Fuck if I know! Something vaguely resembling basketball. There's a lunchtime league that plays on Wednesdays in Flagstaff Gardens starting at the end of the month...and that's where you'll find me!

I'm still going to continue running. It's such an easy, affordable and effective workout! I'm thinking that until I've got something specific to train for, I'll stick to doing 5k runs in the park, and work on sprinting. I absolutely LOVE the way my body feels when I sprint. I'm not particularly interested in running a half-marathon. 10k was a good distance and a good challenge, and honestly, I don't see the point in long distance running. There's much more applicability in my day-to-day life for sprinting: running for the tram, chasing down muggers, that sort of thing. ;)

Tomorrow I will be stiff, I can feel it already!! I'm going to go for an itty bitty swim and a gooooood long soak in the spa in the morning. Can't wait!

Gettin' It Done!

This past week has been pretty awesome, I must say! My new flatmate moved in on Saturday and we're settling in nicely. Especially as she keeps doing my dishes for me!! I feel very spoilt. :) Sunday was all about sun, suprises, and pirates in the park. Monday I ran a new personal best, then went to uni and got a ton of work done. Tuesday I submitted my first completed draft of my first data chapter, or, the first one that I think won't need to be entirely scrapped and rewritten. It felt SOOOOO good to send that off. Better than finishing my theory chapter even, which was surprising.

Wednesday was an impromptu lunch with one of my friends from uni to discuss the very secretive business of this year's Christmas party. I'm very excited for the upcoming shenanigans! Thursday, due to insomnia, I was up really early and managed to get to the pool an hour earlier than normal. I had a really great swim, and since I'd gotten there so early, when I finished my regular 70 laps I decided to take my time and do an extra 10. Yup, that's 80 laps, or 2.4km. Goal achieved!!

And then there's today! I actually managed to sleep last night, so I didn't wake up until after 7am (which is quite the sleep-in for me these days). I decided to risk the path in the park being washed out and went for a run in the park...and again ran a new personal best!! What up! Then my new flatie and I went for breakfast at my favourite Brunswick cafe and I showed her my favourite book store. AND THEN we took Greta out for a spin!!

My third time out on Greta, and I am getting very close to being able to ride a bike! My balance and steering are improving, as is my ability to get my feet on the pedals and start going. And I'm learning how to use my breaks, and am getting the hang of slowing down and stopping. I'm still not quite ready to go on my own, but that's not far off. We even found THE perfect spot to practice: a very flat, paved footpath surrounding a footy field. It won't be long before Greta and I are cruising the streets of Melbourne (or at least of Brunswick)!

I haven't talked about it much on here, but in a mere 10 days I'll be running the 10k leg of the Melbourne Marathon!!! I still haven't actually ran 10km yet... but that's OK. I'd love to be able to run it in under 60 minutes, but I'll be quite happy to finish in under 75. I wouldn't say that I'm ready for the race, but I am willing and able. This week I'll be carbing up and gearing up. I want to get at least a couple more runs in before the big day, along with a swim and a session at the gym (tomorrow, not next weekend! No way I'm running 10km after all those squats!!) Physically, I'm feeling great these days! And super energetic. I work out in the morning, then by the afternoon I feel like going again. So even though I haven't ran 10km yet, I think I'm gonna be just fine on the day! Guess I'll find out soon enough!!

How To Date Yourself

I've been living on my own for two weeks now, and it's been an interesting experience. At first I hated it! It was so quiet when I'd come home, and I felt starved for conversation. Plus, there was nobody to get annoyed at for the dishes piling up on the bench, as they were all mine. But soon enough I found myself looking forward to coming home to my empty apartment, where I could wander around pantless to my heart's content and take over the kitchen table with my uni work. I even started doing my dishes in a timely manner (helped, of course, by my neighbours' naked bathroom antics). It's been fun, and enlightening to realize that maybe one day when I can afford to, I might enjoy living on my own. My new flatmate moves in next weekend, and I am looking forward to that! It'll be fun to have some 'new blood' in my life.

Living on my own has got me thinking about being on my own. I've spent more of my adult life single than not, so it's hardly new to me. I've learnt a thing or two about dating and being single as the years have gone by and the exes have pile up. For one, when a relationship ends, it's always a good thing. It'll take some time to actually feel that way, but inevitably I find myself thanking my lucky stars that I'm no longer the passenger on a train destined for disaster. After all, if the relationship worked (really, truly) it wouldn't have ended.

Now, apparently I'm not fooling anyone if I try to say that I'm happy being single, but I am. I would prefer to be in a relationship, sure, but I'll take being single over being in a shitty relationship any day of the week! One of the things I like best about being single is dating. This wasn't always the case. Back in the days of my repressed homosexuality the thought of having to date was enough to drive me to accept a relationship with whatever man came along. Turns out, dating's a heck of a lot more fun when you do it with the right gender! What is both great and horrible about lesbian dating is that when you meet up with a girl, you're never sure if it's a 'date' or 'just coffee'. And whatever it is for you, it's likely not the same for her. That may sound horrible, but I love it! Though, to be fair, I do rather enjoy making my life more complicated than it ever need be.

I love meeting new people and getting to know them, seeing if there's a connection or not. And I especially love bad dates! Like the time I saw Sex and The City II. As if it wasn't enough that the movie was a crime against humanity, at one point my date turned to me and said "I always wanted Carrie to end up with Aidan." What the fuck?! I nearly got up and walked out of the theatre, it was so over for me in that moment. But I didn't. I eventually, reluctantly, agreed to another date and crushed her hopes then. On a more recent 'just coffee' date, I said that I'm really not too concerned with what other people think of me. I think she believed me by the time we parted ways. That's another thing I've learnt: if they can't accept me as I am, don't bother. Though, that one's still a work in progress. There's that whole 'good first impression' thing, so if I do think I'd like to see them again, I've realized I need to not be quite so full on with the 'being myself' stuff. Although... if I'm full on and they do stick around for a second date, I believe protocol allows me to hire a U-Haul for said date.

I'm mentioned before that Kanye West has altogether too much insight into my life. Recently I was walking home and listening to one of his songs when a lyric I've heard a hundred times struck me like a frying pan across the face because it sums up my attitude towards dating so well:

But I know that God put you in front of me

So how the hell could you front on me?

There's a thousand yous;

There's only one of me

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am probably going to be single for a looooooooooong time! Granted, maybe one day I'll meet Kanye and we can discuss what, exactly, this 'anything' is he's willing to do for a blonde dyke. (Speaking of which, I was looking through my pictures yesterday, and while I looked good as a brunette, I look better as a blonde. Well, with this haircut I certainly do!)

Given that I have no way of knowing if I'll meet my perfect woman tomorrow or ten years from now (who will be so perfect she'll find my Kanye West-esque attitude charming and delightful) I've got to make the most of being single: I've got to date myself!

Single or not, I think the ability to take yourself out on a date is a skill that every woman, if not everyone, should develop. I take myself on some pretty awesome dates. Possibly too awesome. When I go out on dates with other people, they usually don't live up to the ones I take myself on.

Dating yourself is not meeting up with your girlfriends; it is not sitting at home with a tub of ice cream and a box set of chick flicks; and it is not going to the salon to get yourself prettied up for someone else's benefit!

Dating yourself is about scheduling time out to spend with yourself doing the things you enjoy doing, but don't make the time to do. It's about doing things for yourself that you would normally just do for someone else. It doesn't have to be anything particularly fancy, as long as it's all about doing whatever you fancy.

The past month my workload has been completely insane, and it's not getting any lighter. And while I've gone out on 'dates' since LC and I broke up, I couldn't remember the last time I'd taken myself out on a date. So I said to hell with my workload and scheduled in a Saturday date with myself. I got up early and did some work, then headed to the gym for the first time in 3 weeks. That wasn't technically part of the date, but, it made me feel good and if I had been going on a date with someone else I would've been sure to get to the gym first, and that is the point of taking yourself on a date as opposed to, you know, taking yourself to run errands. I came home, showered, got changed, and headed out. It was ridiculously nice out, so I decided that I'd walk from my place to Carlton, where I planned to grab a late lunch, buy myself something nice and unnecessary, and catch a movie at my favourite cinema.

It was a completely awesome afternoon! I love wandering around Carlton, and I hadn't done it in a really long time (and an even longer time on my own). There's always good people watching in Carlton, and lots of pretty girls (yeah, yeah, yeah, I know they're all like 20 year old undergrads, whatever! They're still cute!). And everyone is there to enjoy themselves. Or shoot someone. Either way, there's excitement to be had! After lunch I wandered through the shops, knowing I could buy myself whatever I liked with the money I had set aside for this date. I thought it would be clothes, but it ended up being books! Which was great because I've been in a real book slump for a few months now, where not much is grabbing my attention. When I have been able to get into a book I dread it ending because I know it's going to be ages before I find something else to read. But now I've got a backlog of books I'm excited to read!

I had time to kill between my shopping and the movie starting, so I went and lay in the sun in a park for awhile, while a bunch of people my age square danced. I have no idea what that was all about, but they looked like they were having fun. I thought about going closer to check it out, but I wasn't actually interested. After the gym and the walk and the shopping, I really just wanted to lay in the warmth of the sun and not do anything at all. Which is exactly what I did. Then I went and saw 'Begginers', which was absolutely beautiful. I don't care what those harpies sitting beside me said about it! Ewan McGreggor is a gorgeous man and a talented actor, but he really cannot do an American accent. The resulting awkwardness in his speech actually really suited his character though, so it works out.

I planned on taking the tram and bus home, but when I got to the bus stop I discovered it was too late. So I walked, and I'm glad I did. It was such a beautiful evening. I came home feeling refreshed and at peace with myself. Whatever happens with the other people who come into and out of my life, I'm always going to have myself. It was really nice to take some time out from everything just to remind myself of how much I actually do like myself and enjoy my own company.

I recommend you do the same.

The Beginning of The End

Don't waste your time fighting the line

State your course and you'll understand

- Jay-Z

Tomorrow is a big day for me. Tomorrow everything changes. Though, of course, it already has. Tomorrow is my birthday. Tomorrow is the first day of the end of my 20's. Tomorrow is also the last day of my scholarship. And of course, tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life.

I remember last year I was really anxious about turning 28 and what this year would hold in store for me. I knew it was going to be a challenging year, and whether it was obvious or not, this time last year I was really freaking out about how I was going to manage. But looking back at the past year... it kind of blows my mind how much I've changed, how much I've grown, how much I've learnt about myself.

Not too long ago my flatmate and I were reflecting on our lives and how different (read: better) our late 20's have been from our early 20's. Thinking about how 28 has been for me, I had mixed feelings about the year. But as my flatmate said, "I think you'll look back on this year as a time when some really positive changes started to happen in your life."

And it's true! For starters, I've lost 20kg in the past year. I ran my first 5km race, and now I'm training for a 10km race. I finished my data collection, completely lost interest in my PhD, then fell utterly in love with it again and now want to build my future career on the research I am doing now. I've healed my relationships with my parents a lot, and I've gotten to reconnect with my siblings as adults, which is nothing short of awesome! My professional skills are starting to be recognized in the form of gainful employment and mentoring...

It hasn't all been fun times and kicking ass though. I had a very stupid fight with a friend, and while we've reconciled now, I regret that I became the kind of person who would let that happen. One of the things I've realized over the past year is that friendship is something I value very dearly. I get along well with most people, but it's rare to find someone who I can truly call a friend. And while there are some people back in Canada who I feel like I've gotten closer with this past year, I've felt a lot of disconnect with my friends here in Melbourne. And given that I live in Melbourne, that is hardly an ideal situation! Then there are the incredible grey areas... Breaking up with Lady Cop, twice, is hardly my idea of a good time. But then, a lot of good has come out of it. A lot of good, and a lot of change, and according to a psychic we went to, change is always a good thing.

I started this blog with a lyric from my current favourite hip-hop song, Blue Magic. The reason this song resonates so much with me right now is that, like so much of Jay-Z's music, it's about coming out of tough times on top. Jay-Z is an absolute inspiration to me. This is a man who came from a situation where nobody expected him to amount to anything, but he always knew better. His intellect, his insight into the way the world works, and the way he so simply yet cleverly lays it out, it's pure beauty to me. This is a man who has been, and who I am sure continues to be, under estimated. A lot of people who get under estimated get this attitude like they've got something to prove to the world, but not Jay-Z. He knows what he is capable of, he knows how good he is, and he knows the world is never really going to get it. But instead of trying to make the world sit up and take notice, he just goes about living his life, doing his thing, absolutely on his own terms, whether the world notices or not. I find that absolutely admirable. Especially because as he's always known his own worth, he's always managed to have control over his career.

Which brings me back to the lyric I opened with. We all come into the world in a particular context: in a particular moment in history, in a particular socioeconomic status, in a particular family, in a particular part of the world. We can't change those things; we've got to play the cards that we're dealt. How we play them though, is up to us. There's no point trying to fight the things that are outside of our control. We are much better off to accept whatever circumstances we are in and focus on how we're going to work with whatever we've got to make the best of the situation we're in.

I've been thinking a lot as my birthday has approached about what my circumstances are, and what I can do about it. And this is the thing: when Lady Cop and I were together, I was fighting the line; I wasn't focusing on myself and my own abilities, and while I thought I was maneuvering myself onto a better course by relying on someone else, I was actually making things a lot more difficult for myself. What inspires me about Jay-Z is how clearly he manages to stay on his course, even with other people in his life. I mean, Beyonce is a mega-superstar with her own career and life goals and all of that. She is an amazing woman and an amazing catch, and I know a lot of people would think that if she snaps her fingers, he'd better come a-running. But no! It's not like that at all. He knows that she's incredible, but he also knows he's awesome personified too. Being with her doesn't change his course. He's still going to do what's right for him.

I want to be the kind of person that can say "You're awesome, I want to be with you, but this is my life and I am living it this way, whether you're in it or not." This is the biggest lesson I have learnt over the past year, and it's been a hard lesson to learn. Compromise is important in relationships, sure, but it is different from going off course with your own life.

So I'm not fighting the line; I've stated my course, and I understand.

What does that mean for my 29th year? Finishing my PhD is my number one priority. But I have to be realistic: my candidature expires in 6 months, and especially given that I now have to engage in paid work to survive and that I want my PhD to launch my future career, I need more than 6 months to finish. So I have decided to extend my candidature by 6 months, which means taking out student loans and paying tuition. I will submit my thesis before my 30th birthday!!! And while I do still want to continue losing weight, right now I am happy with my body. I like my fitness regime; it's not as hardcore as previous ones, but it's enough to continue improving my fitness and toning my body without having to be obsessive about what I eat, while having the flexibility to allow my PhD to take priority. Having a social life is vital to my well-being, so I am actively making new friends and reconnecting with old ones. For reasons that unfortunately stopped being relevant too late to change anything, my flatmate is moving out and someone new will be coming in (tbd, don't want to jinx it, not talking about it until it's in the past).

Tomorrow is a fresh start. From here on in, I'm running the show.

Move Bitch, Get Out The Way

If you're a regular at the pool (any pool) you're probably familiar with lane rage. If not, it's road rage without the cars. The rules of the lanes are really no different from the rules of the road, and lifeguards play the same role as cops. I guess the nice thing about being at the pool though is that if someone is being a douche, there actually is a lifeguard on hand that you can tell. Though, let's face it, it's so much more fun to deal with the conflict yourself.

Maybe it's not so much fun if you're one of those people who don't like confrontations... Personally, I'm quite happy to tell people to get fucked, even if I know I'm clearly in the wrong. So, this morning, after being kicked in the head by some idiot who either has no idea how to merge or no concept of how one particular skill set can apply to different situations, I decided to develop an easy to follow flow chart to help people determine if my lane is the correct one for them to be in.

Get The Fuck Outta My Lane: A Helpful Guide

Can you swim?

NO → GTFOML, you belong in the Aqua Play lane

YES

↓

Do you understand about lane ettiquette?

NO → GTFOML, go be an asshole elsewhere
YES
↓

Do I think you're a hottie?
YES → Welcome to my lane!
NO
↓
Are you only in the pool because you're dating someone who's actually fit?

YES → GTFOML!

NO
↓
Are you only swimming breast stroke?
NO → Go to next question
YES → Are you putting your head under the water?

↓
NO → That's glorified dog paddling, GTFOML!
YES
↓
Are you swimming butterfly?
YES → GTFOML and anyone else's! Leave that for when you've got the lane to yourself!
NO
↓
Are you swimming at a significantly different speed than me?
NO → Go to next question

YES → Is the appropriate slow/fast lane really busy?
↓
NO → Then GTFOML!!!
YES → You can stay provided you're not being a jerk about the speed difference
↓
Does your entering my lane bring the total of people swimming in it to 3 or more?
NO → You can stay, stagger yourself appropriately
YES
↓
Are you wearing part or all of a snorkelling mask?
YES → GTFO the pool, creep!

NO
↓
Does your swim wear involve ruffles?
YES → Clearly you're not serious about swimming, GTFOML
NO
↓
Are you being an asshole in some other way?
YES → GTFOML!

NO
↓
Congratulations, and welcome to my lane!
I'm sure we'll have a pleasant swim together and nobody will get punched, kicked, or gratuitiously splashed in the face.

It's Just Like Riding A Bike

Ha! Well, what exactly does that mean when you've never learnt how?

Meet Greta, my new partner in crime.

Gorgeous, I know. That's why I picked her!

On some level I knew that, having only theoretical knowledge of how to ride a bike, it wasn't going to be quite as simple as hopping on and pedaling. I guess I just didn't realize how hard just hopping on and pedaling would be.

I woke up on Sunday super keen to give it a go. It wasn't raining, so I put on my daggiest trackies, got Greta out of the store room, and marched off to the park. I decided to set myself up in the front end of the park where there was a patch of grass that was relatively flat and wasn't full of dog walkers. I hopped on, got my footing, and then realized a series of things:

• Greta has six gears...which one did I need to be in?
• How do you go from standing still to moving?
• How do I turn my lights on?

Honestly, the falling was the only thing I could successfully manage. I spent a good half hour falling. And yes, I looked like a dork, and yes, random people looked at me like I was insane and occasionally openly laughed at me. I was quite the spectacle, and I knew that, and I was OK with that.

What I hadn't given any consideration to was where I live and who was likely to see me making a fool of myself on a Sunday morning. Yeah. I live in the gaybourhood. And being single again, I've put myself back into the ether of online dating. So of course as I was making a fool of myself when someone who I had recently been chatting with walks by. D'oh!

As if that wasn't bad enough... enter the creepy older man. He arrived at the park shortly after I did, and I quickly got the impression that he was overly interested in me. Ostensibly he was jogging, but after his second lap he stopped and asked me if I wanted some help. And for some reason I said, "Yeah, sure!" D'oh!

He spent several minutes suggesting that I move onto a flatter surface than grass, even though doing so would be scary as falling would hurt a lot more. Having just spent half an hour falling over, I was well aware that I'd land on my feet when I lost my balance. So I was like, "Yeah, thanks for the tip, I'll do that." And then he repeated it all over again. He asked me how long I've been living in Australia, and if I planned to stay. I told him how long and said I wasn't sure about staying at this point, he couldn't imagine why.  Then he advised me that as I was clearly going to fall over and look like an idiot and anyone who say would laugh at me and have a go at me, because Australians like to take the piss. Like I hadn't figured that out in the three and a half years I've been here! And then he violated Greta.

Yeah, I won't be taking her out on my own again! I've got a friend who is going to come out with me and help me properly acquainted with Greta, we just have to figure out a time. Until then, pretty she sits, waiting for me to take her for a ride.

Tik Tok

The party don't start til I walk in...

Remember sleep? *sigh* I have this vague memory of a time in my life where I could sleep well and truly past 7am. Now I count myself lucky to make it past 6. It's the thesis, mostly. It's going really super well right now, which means that I'm being haunted by university professors and writing phantom chapters in my dreams. Then I wake up and haunt researchers and write varying levels of esoteric notes on my theory. I recently dug myself into quite a hole, then read an article from a sociology professor at the University of Calgary (who's class I almost took but didn't) that is helping me to dig myself out of this hole. This hole digging metaphor is strange.

By the way, I've pretty much gone crazy.

And you know what's a fun thing to do whilst you're teetering on the edge of sanity? Make Big Life Decisions!!! If you think I'm being sarcastic, I'm not. Life is a journey, and when I'm walking that genius/insane line, that's when I tend to decide on something that takes my journey in some new, unexpected direction. It keeps things interesting. I'm a lot more decisive when I'm in this frame of mind, probably because I don't have the head space to over analyze things. I go with my gut a lot more. Perhaps this is why I am pursuing a career in academia, so I can occupy this mental space more often.

It wasn't my thesis that chased away the sleep and had me wide awake by 5:30am today though. Nope. I'm like a kid at Christmas right now. Why? Because today I am buying my very first bike!!!!

Yesterday as I was walking from the tram to the pool (for a glorious swim) I passed a show with a beautiful vintage style bike in the window...and a sign saying "From $199." I raised $200 from my run, and since I didn't end up getting the hair cut I had budgeted for, I've got some extra cash at the moment. So I checked out their website and saw that there's a sale on just this week, and I figured, why not? My flatmate is going to help me pick up the bike later this morning, since I don't actually know how to ride a bike. I'm very excited about the possibilities having a bike will open up for me. Even though, undoubtedly, there is going to be a fair bit of falling, possibly some road rash, and maybe even a few tears.

I think I shall call her Greta...